Remember You
by A-cylum
Summary: Naruto is an aspiring young fashion designer with seemingly everything: impeding success, a mansion, his best friends by his side, and yet...something's still missing. Or rather, someone. And it haunts him, because he just let them go. WARNING: Character death, yaoi
1. Moving Day

Regular words=present time

 _Italics=flashback_

* * *

"You got everything packed, brat?"

Naruto turned to glare at his aunt Tsunade. "I've got it, hag. Jeez, I'm not a kid anymore!"

The busty blonde woman frowned. "Just having started your own business hardly counts as not being a kid, brat. There's so much more to being an adult than just age."

"But I've been keeping at it for three years already, Tsunade, jeez!"

"She's right," a white-haired man with red facial tattoos said, appearing at the doorway next to the woman. "For example, you haven't bought a car, or gotten married, or had se—"

"Jiraiya!" Tsunade shouted, smacking her husband upside the head. "This is no time for your perverted comments! Naruto is _leaving_!"

Naruto winced slightly at the hurt and worry in the woman's voice. Ever since his parents were killed in a freak terrorist bombing when he was in elementary school, his aunt Tsunade and uncle Jiraiya had cared for him. They were a middle-aged couple who loved Naruto as their own, and raised him for the eighteen required years of his life, and then some. He loved them both, seeing them as the only parents he'd ever known. Even though Tsunade was strict to no end and Jiraiya was a huge pervert, they'd given Naruto everything to make him feel comfortable and loved.

A couple months back, when Naruto had just established his own brand, Jiraiya had gone and decided to buy Naruto a house to celebrate his graduation from rookie designer. Only thing was—the house wasn't just a house. It was a mansion. An elegant, modern, chic mansion that must've cost a shit ton of money.

The moment Naruto laid eyes on the mansion, he'd wanted it. It was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Not to mention, it was also relatively close to where he worked. Jiraiya was ecstatic when Naruto told him he wanted to move in immediately. Tsunade, on the other hand, was more hesitant to let him go, most likely because she was worried he'll end up burning the expensive mansion down on the first day. But after Jiraiya explained how Naruto needed his own space so he can mature into an adult and have more working space, and Naruto pleaded with his aunt so vigorously for days, she gave in.

Naruto had begun packing the moment Tsunade gave her consent. There were so many rooms in the place, Naruto even agreed to have some close friends move in with him to share the space and keep him company. He was finally going to have a taste of the real world, to start his new life as an independent adult.

He glanced over from zipping up his suitcases to his aunt and uncle, who were watching him with sad, but proud eyes.

"Why're you looking at me like that?" Naruto asked, hoping that his voice was cheery enough to make that sadness disappear. "It's not like I'm leaving for the army. I'm literally an hour's drive from here."

"We know that," Tsunade snapped, her voice shakier than before. "It's just that…you've been with us all these years, Naruto. You're the only child we'll ever have, and now…now you're growing up and leaving us."

Jiraiya nodded, looking a bit sad too. "She's right. We'll miss you, kid. But it's time you leave the nest. We can't keep you forever. Right, Tsunade?"

"Unfortunately. His poor neighbors…"

Despite the slightly condescending mockery, Naruto felt tears prick at his eyes at the thought of leaving his only family. He slammed his suitcase shut and jumped up to hug the two of them.

"I'll call and visit," Naruto promised, squeezing his adoptive parents. "I'll come at Christmas, too. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

"Just try to keep at least the living room in one piece, alright?" Jiraiya said, dropping a set of keys into Naruto's hand.

"And don't eat so much instant ramen," Tsunade added as a car honked outside. "I swear, if I see you in my office suffering from cardiac arrest—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a hot fucking mess who is a human disaster area and consumes way too much sodium, I'll die of a heart attack, and you'll have my ass, blah, blah, blah," Naruto interrupted, trying to end the conversation before anyone got too emotional. He broke away and grabbed his bags, trying to ignore the tension between him and his family.

In a matter of minutes, he'll be completely free and on his own. Just him and his friends against the whole world. Without the guidance and protection of his parents. Never again.

The thought of leaving the people who had given him so much love and picked him up from the most dismal time of his life saddened him greatly. He already left so much people, and lost much more…

Naruto slapped himself across the face. He couldn't think about depressing shit like this. It was time to grow up and face the music. Moving away from the people he loved might be hard, but it was a good thing. He needed this.

Naruto rushed out of the front door, turning to wave at his aunt and uncle one last time before hauling his stuff into the back of Kiba's SUV and getting into the passenger seat himself.

"'Sup, man?" Kiba greeted from the driver's seat, bumping fists with Naruto. "You ready to go or you still need a moment?"

Naruto looked out the window, seeing Tsunade and Jiraiya standing on the porch of the humble house that he had grown up in. Jiraiya was holding Tsunade around the waist as she was trying to blink back tears at seeing her baby leave. They were both waving at him.

"Nah, let's go," Naruto said, turning his head away from the scene. "It's time to start fresh."

"Wiser words couldn't have been spoken." Kiba nodded and started the car. "Hang on tight, bro."

 _Oh no_. Naruto immediately buckled up and gripped his seat as Kiba peeled out of the driveway and floored it down the street and onto the highway. The hairs on Naruto's arms stood up perfectly straight as Kiba cut in front of three cars in one go and accelerated down the lane, which was probably illegal. He wondered how in the absolute motherfucking hell Kiba wasn't arrested for unsafe driving yet.

That was an understatement. Kiba drove like a fucking _demon_. It was a miracle that the two of them were still alive. Naruto silently prayed to whatever deity that listened that he wouldn't die before he got a chance to even see his new house. His fingers were now practically clawing at the seat as Kiba made a sharp, screeching turn and passed yet another car.

"How the _fuck_ are you still allowed to drive?" Naruto yelled over the sound of the wind and roaring engine.

"What's wrong with my driving?" Kiba shouted back, slamming on the brakes to avoid running a red light. Naruto practically flew out of his seat despite the seatbelt, and conked his head on the dashboard.

"Ow!" he rubbed his bruised forehead. "What the fuck, Kiba?!"

"What?" Kiba asked, looking genuinely confused. "I didn't do anything!"

Naruto resisted the burning urge to grab his friend by the collar and smash his head so hard against the steering wheel that the pristine leather would have Kiba's face permanently etched into it. As good as a friend he was, Kiba was about the most oblivious person on the planet when it came to danger. He didn't have the slightest clue as to how dangerously he was driving. Hell, the guy slept through a frickin' 7.0 earthquake before. If that didn't faze him then nothing would.

"Just don't kill me before we get to the house…" Naruto muttered, sliding down into his seat, hands still firmly grasping onto the cushion. " _Please_."

Kiba shrugged and hit the gas the moment the light turned green, the force knocking Naruto further back into his seat than he already was.

This was going to be a very long, short, life-threatening drive…

* * *

Neji knew what was going to happen. He saw it coming from miles away. Hell, anyone with decently functioning eyeballs could've seen it coming from miles away.

Poor Naruto.

He nodded towards his companion, locking his pale violet eyes onto the sea-foam orbs. The other man sighed and pulled out two pairs of earplugs, handing one pair to Neji as he twisted his own into his ears. When that was done, Neji pulled out an empty plastic bag and checked his watch.

Any minute now…

The muffled sound of a roaring engine made its way to Neji's eardrums through the plugs as he noticed a sleek black Mercedes fly past the open gates of the mansion and screech to a halt a couple feet before him. Peering past the car, Neji took in the sight of the skid marks the abrupt braking had caused, and clicked his tongue in exasperation.

That _was_ a perfectly good stone-paved driveway.

His annoyance was short-lived when Naruto stumbled out of the car, holding onto his stomach and looking green in the face. The moment he noticed Neji, Naruto sprinted full speed at the other man, snatching the bag out of his hands and proceeded to hurl the remnants of his breakfast into it.

Neji took out his earplugs calmly and patted his friend's back in a comforting gesture. "Rough ride?"

Naruto retched as a response, face still buried in the bag.

Neji winced at the patter of more vomit making contact with the bag. He felt bad for Naruto. Because Kiba lived closer to the blonde, he ended up having to carpool with him. And knowing Kiba…that couldn't have been fun. Neji still had the scar on his forehead to vouch for it.

He turned around to stare at the large mansion behind him, eyeing the marble pillars and lush green yard thoughtfully. It was stunningly gorgeous. Much smaller than the Hyuuga estate, but respectable. If only Sasuke was here to see all of this…

 _No_.

Neji mentally kicked himself. No. He can't think about Sasuke. Not now. Not when Naruto had finally seemed to get over him. He wasn't sure if his heart was strong enough to see him broken again.

As if sensing his distress, Gaara sauntered over and placed a hand on his shoulder. Neji leaned into the gentle touch, feeling a sense of security wrap around him.

"You're thinking too much," Gaara said stonily. His face gave away no emotion.

Neji nodded. "As of late, I am."

"Is it about…him?"

"Yes."

Gaara turned his head, looking at Naruto, who had finished puking and was hollering at Kiba for being a reckless driver, the latter yelling back in an equally loud voice that there was nothing bad about his driving. He turned his attention back to Neji.

"Stop thinking about him."

With that said, the redhead turned and walked to their car, opening the trunk and pulling out their suitcases. Neji watched him go sadly. Gaara was right. He needed to stop thinking altogether. It wasn't healthy to dwell on the past.

Neji sighed as he helped Gaara yank out the last of their luggage from the car and watched sullenly as the redhead slid into the driver's side to park the car into the large garage right next to the main house.

* * *

Gaara stared at the garage in distaste.

It was so utterly _bland_.

The garage was a light shade of gray, and completely empty, save for himself and his red BMW. Compared to the brilliant architecture of the mansion itself, the garage had much to be desired for. He would have to redecorate the interior. Add some furnishings and equipment, maybe paint a few walls, too.

Gaara shivered slightly as a chill settled over him.

He hated the winter in Konoha.

Having grown up in the desert city of Suna, where every day was at least eighty degrees, he wasn't quite used to the alternating temperatures of Konoha just yet.

Gaara made his way out of the garage and back out into the yard, where a couple more people have arrived.

A young man with dark hair tied back into a ponytail was sitting on the steps leading up to the mansion's front doors. Another man, with shockingly pale skin and sleek black hair was talking to Naruto, who was red-faced with both embarrassment and anger. There was also a very feminine-looking man with long brown hair and amber eyes next to a taller, muscular man wearing a leather jacket and ski mask.

Gaara frowned. Someone seemed to be missing…

"HELLO MY YOUTHFUL FRIENDS!"

Gaara didn't even have time to brace himself as a figure in green barreled into him, sending them both sprawling towards the crowd.

"Lee!" Naruto exclaimed, rushing over to where Rock Lee was currently lying on top of a very irritated Gaara. "Jeez, man, how do you just come flyin' outta nowhere?"

"The power of youth, my friend!" Lee exclaimed as he hugged Naruto, lifting him a good foot off the ground. "That, and a little bit of time waiting for the right moment."

Gaara rolled his eyes as he picked himself up and dusted his jacket off. If these were the sort of people he'd have to room with, then he sure as hell was glad that he stocked up on sleeping pills and painkillers.

* * *

"Lookit the rich boy, living so high and mighty," Zabuza teased good-naturedly, ruffling Naruto's hair.

Naruto laughed and swatted the bigger man's hand away. "Okay, I get it, I live in a big house. Doesn't mean I'm rich."

"Is that so?" Haku giggled.

Naruto beamed. "Totally! I don't even have my first fashion show yet! But I'll showcase at Tokyo Fashion Week, believe it! Then it's New York, Los Angeles, Paris…"

Haku smiled at his friend as he ranted on and on about showcasing his new spring collection. Naruto always was a hyperactive, ambitious guy. Hard not to love.

"How's Kakashi and Iruka?" Naruto asked, gasping a little when he finally finished ranting.

"That scarecrow just got promoted to Chief of Police, and Iruka became Commander," Zabuza grumbled.

Naruto grinned. "That's awesome! Wait, what happened to Obito?"

"Former Chief Uchiha," Zabuza corrected, but paused when he saw a pang of sadness in Naruto's eyes at the mention of Sasuke's uncle. It was almost like the very name of "Uchiha" was taboo. He sighed, running a hand through his messy black hair.

"He was forced to retire. Took a knife to the eye on a mission a couple of months ago and now he's only got one eye left."

Naruto visibly cringed. "Oh, okay… Well, come in, then. Won't you stay a while? There's plenty of room."

Zabuza shook his head. "Sorry, kid, but Haku and I aren't gonna stay the scene. The chief's gonna murder our ass if we relocated."

Haku nodded besides Zabuza. "He's right. We heard you were coming, so we just swung by to check on you." He fiddled with the gun hidden underneath his coat. "But we really must get going now."

Naruto sighed, eyeing his two friends calmly. "I understand," he said softly. "You guys have a job to do. Well, keep in touch, okay? Tell Kakashi and Iruka I said hi and I'll be over soon!"

Haku nodded eagerly and hugged Naruto. Zabuza gave him a hearty pat on the back. "You got it, kid. Now go get your ass into the house before you freeze to death. You don't wanna end up like—"

Haku elbowed him sharply in the ribs. Zabuza immediately shut up, barely saving himself from his slip-up. "What I mean is, go inside already. It's cold."

Naruto seemed oblivious to what Zabuza almost implied, and grinned cheekily. "Alrighty then! See ya around!" He turned and raced into the mansion, shouting for his friends to hurry up and join him.

Haku watched Naruto leave with sad eyes as he and Zabuza turned to go. "He's moving on…" he murmured.

Zabuza grunted. "About time too. But he's never been the same ever since that Uchiha brat kicked the bucket."

Haku was silent. He glanced back at Naruto, who was standing on the porch, waving at him furiously. Even from a distance, the scars on the tan forearm popped like a highlight. Haku waved back half-heartedly. To see Naruto this happy and chipper again took all of seven years' time.

He still remembered when Naruto was a high school senior. Their families were old friends, and Naruto had grown up with him and Zabuza as his surrogate big brothers. At the time of the incident, Haku—who was three years older—had been finishing his degree in criminal psychology and was working at the Konoha Police Department with Zabuza when it happened.

One day, Naruto barged into the station like a maelstrom, and dashed up to him, crying and insisting that Haku help him.

* * *

 _"Haku! Haku!"_

 _Said man turned and gasped when he was suddenly clutched by two shaking hands, teary sapphire orbs staring into his own._

 _"N-Naruto? What's wrong? What happened?" Haku stammered between vicious shakes from the blond._

 _"Sasuke! It's Sasuke!" Naruto screamed, shaking the shorter man vigorously. "He can't be gone! You have to help me!"_

 _Haku ignored the several pairs of questioning eyes that were trained on him and Naruto. The blonde was causing quite the ruckus, but he didn't really care. If he went as far as to barge into the police station without notice, it must've been serious._

 _"Naruto, I—"_

 _"What the hell's goin' on here?"_

 _Zabuza stepped into the room, eyes focusing right onto Haku and Naruto. "What's blondie doin' here?"_

 _"Zabuza!" Naruto turned, still firmly clutching Haku. "Sasuke! He can't be gone! He can't!"_

 _"Sasuke Uchiha? The Chief's nephew?" Zabuza stroked his chin in thought. "What about him?"_

 _"You still don't know?" A new voice said from behind them._

 _Haku's eyes widened. "Commander Hatake!"_

 _Kakashi stepped out of his office, dressed in a plain white button-down shirt and black slacks. His face was hidden behind a flu mask._

 _"Reports say that Sasuke Uchiha had recently passed away. Cause is still unknown," Kakashi said stiffly, watching the scene unfold before him with sad eyes. "He was sent here to undergo an evaluation to determine cause of death. The coroner and medical examiner's working on him now."_

 _"NO!"_

 _Naruto sprang up and began sprinting towards the stairs. Zabuza immediately gave chase, catching the blonde before he managed to turn the handle of the door._

 _"Let go of me!" Naruto screamed, kicking and thrashing in Zabuza's hold. "They can't! Don't touch Sasuke! DON'T TOUCH HIM!"_

 _His fighting and screaming became so violent that Haku found himself and three other officers trying to get ahold of Naruto before he decided to rip the place apart._

 _"LET GO OF ME!" Naruto shrieked, pushing and shoving the multiple hands that flew at his head, clawing and biting at anybody that got close to him. "THEY CAN'T BUTCHER SASUKE! NO!" he let out a long, guttural scream, so loud that Haku could see the windows shuddering slightly._

 _"ENOUGH!"_

 _For a moment, all was silent as everybody turned to see the person who has spoken. Chief Obito Uchiha stood by the main doors, dressed in a dark suit. His dark eyes were flashing red, the scarred side of his face seeming more twisted with his scowl._

 _"Sasuke is gone, Naruto," the chief said firmly, walking over to where the blonde was, held captive by four men. "I understand your predicament, but I myself had just lost my nephew. Your shouting and struggling isn't going to help anything. You need to understand that he's not coming back."_

 _Naruto collapsed into a fit of sobs. "They can't! Sasuke! Sasuke can't be dead! No!"_

 _"I'm sorry, Naruto," Kakashi said, genuine concern and sorrow in his voice. "We all are."_

 _"NO!" Naruto wailed as he threw himself onto the ground and began beating it weakly as broken, desperate sobs wracked his body and filled the room with a heavy melancholy aura. He screamed, he cursed, he tore at his hair, clawed at his face until it bled. Nothing and nobody could calm him down._

 _Haku had never felt so distressed in his life, watching his beloved little brother break into pieces before him. He was at a complete loss as to what to do. Naruto was shattering—both inside and out. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, and Haku was sure that Naruto was buffer the last time he saw him._

 _He didn't bother telling Naruto that everything was going to be okay. It would be lying. Naruto would never be okay again._

 _Not with Sasuke gone._


	2. Pictures

_"But how do you expect me,_

 _To live alone with just me?_

 _'Cause my world revolves around you,_

 _And it's hard for me to breathe."_

* * *

"And that makes thirty!"

Naruto huffed as he looked at the moving boxes he stacked in the living room. Most of it was probably junk, but who the hell cares?

The only furniture was an old red couch that Jiraiya had given him and a small coffee table. Everything else was either in boxes or not even bought yet. Naruto knew he didn't have enough money to completely furnish his new mansion, but with Neji, Gaara, and Shikamaru along for the ride, the possibilities were endless.

Gaara stood next to him, sleeves rolled up and eyes wandering around the room and every other room adjoined to it. His lip curled up the slightest into a sneer.

"What's wrong, Gaara? You seem awfully pissy today," Naruto teased, grabbing the nearest box and starting to open it. "Neji not satisfying you lately?"

"Shut up," the redhead growled, a mild blush on his cheeks. "The interior is _disgusting_." He glared at the sparse furniture. "You need new furniture and a shit ton of home decorations."

Naruto pouted childishly as he continued to unpack. "Who the fuck died and gave you the role of interior designer?"

"My boss," Gaara grumbled drily, staring at the white, blank walls in distaste. "That's my _job_ , if you'd forgotten."

"But I like it like this!" Naruto whined, gesturing wildly at the airy space. "Can't we just keep it?"

"Over my dead body," Gaara snarled, glaring at the walls.

Naruto sighed in defeat as he continued to unpack. Whatever Gaara wants, Gaara gets. It didn't even matter that it was his house and Gaara was a guest. The redhead was downright TERRIFYING when he was angry or annoyed. Naruto decided since the day they met as five-year-olds to not test his temper. His intuition was confirmed years later at their art school after Gaara sent three classmates to the hospital after they mocked his designs.

"Fine, you do what you want. But keep the majority of the house to my taste, alright? You can go absolutely nuts on your own room, though," Naruto said, attempting to make a compromise.

Gaara grunted in agreement.

"Unpacking already?" Neji called from the doorway, gracefully making his way into the room, holding yet another box. "Where do you want this?"

"Just toss it with everything else!" Naruto hollered, taking out pieces of Tupperware and moving to the kitchen.

Neji shrugged and obliged, though he didn't exactly "toss" the box with the others. He glided over to Gaara, wrapping an arm around the shorter man's shoulders.

"So, what do you think? It's going to be nice living here, no?"

"No." Gaara's eyes narrowed as he peeked into the opened box, eyeing its plastic tableware and cheap stainless steel implements with disgust. "This house needs a complete makeover."

Neji frowned. "But…it's Naruto's house."

"I don't care. I'm getting him some proper furniture and accessories." Gaara pulled out his phone and began to furiously dial.

"Baki? Gaara. Get me the full Stefano Ricci's Royal Suite Collection. Yeah, the _whole_ set. In gold. And I need some drapes. A-grade silk. Russet. I'll send you the address, and I want them by the end of this week. Also, schedule me a meeting with my carpenters and painters ASAP. Bye."

Neji sighed. His boyfriend always had a knack of redecorating any place he didn't deem good enough, even if by a little bit. He was extremely picky like that. But to redo the interior of an entire mansion was stretching it a bit far, even for someone as wealthy and influential as Gaara Sabaku.

"Neji."

The pale-eyed man hummed in response.

"You take care of Naruto's furniture." Gaara turned on his heel and stalked out of the room, once again pressing his phone to his ear.

Neji heaved a sigh. Deeming that he had no choice, he pulled out his own phone and dialed his cousin, who owned a famous furniture and home goods store.

" _Hello and thank you for calling Riches in Comfort. Hinata Hyuuga speaking. How may I help you?"_ the gentle voice on the other end of the line said.

"Hello, Hinata, it's Neji."

" _Neji! What a surprise! How have you been?"_ Hinata's chipper voice said through the phone.

Neji smiled at the warm tone. "I'm fine, Hinata, thank you."

" _Good, good. Now, what can I do for you?"_ Straight into business, as usual.

"Naruto just invited me to live in his new house, and I need some furniture."

" _Of course! What would you like?"_

Neji took a glance around the room. "A white couch. Big enough for seven people. An intricate rug, with orange as its prime color. Six beds, king-sized. Two firm, two soft, two medium-firm. A large dining table. Something classy and elegant, but unique. Ten chairs to go with that…" he droned on and on about the furniture Naruto needed, hearing the occasional hum from Hinata and pencil scratching on paper.

" _I got you covered, Neji,"_ Hinata said when he finally finished. _"I've got just the things you're looking for. They'll be there by tomorrow morning."_

Neji felt his lips curve into a grateful smile. "Thank you, Hinata. I'll send you the payment as soon as possible."

Hinata giggled over the line. _"Oh, no need, Neji. It's on me. After all, this is for Naruto and everyone else. Consider it a housewarming gift. Take care."_

Neji made a mental note to buy Hinata that white Ferrari she'd always had her eye on for her birthday. That woman was a saint.

* * *

Naruto rummaged around in a large box that held all of his personal belongings. He tossed out another shirt before his eyes settled on the objects at the bottom of the box.

"Aha! Found you~" Naruto cooed, pulling out several picture frames and photo albums. He had always been one to preserve memories, good and bad. It was a little hobby of his that he picked up after losing a picture of his birth parents. Naruto never wanted to lose another precious moment in life, so he had a habit of taking pictures wherever he went, no matter the occasion. The majority of the pictures were saved on his laptop, but the most precious ones he printed and framed.

Naruto chipperly placed some of the picture frames on the side of the wall near his sleeping bag. The photos were mostly of him in his high school and college years, surrounded with friends he made during those times.

There was a picture of himself and Kiba posing with a trophy—they had been on their high school baseball team together and had won their first championships together as well. Their Konoha jerseys were streaked with dirt and they wore equally wide, happy grins. Naruto's hair in the photo had been slightly longer, reaching the nape of his neck, and Kiba's face had been tattoo-free.

Another picture depicted Naruto in a wide, green courtyard, along with Neji, Lee, and Shikamaru. The four of them were all smiling, dressed in maroon graduation caps and gowns, while holding their college diplomas.

Then there was one where it was just Naruto and Gaara, both a little older than the pictures depicted before, and amidst a crowd of people in a banquet hall. They were dressed to the nines; Naruto was wearing a soft orange blazer over a white V-necked shirt, gold chain necklace, and fitting black slacks. His hair was tousled, his ears donning a crystal stud each. Gaara wore a blood red button-up shirt with the top three buttons undone, a loose black tie, and black skinny jeans. His black blazer was carelessly slung over his shoulder. His black-rimmed, sea foam eyes were gazing into the distance. Naruto remembered this moment well—this picture was taken at the graduation banquet of their art school, no more than a year ago.

Naruto smiled nostalgically at the memories the pictures brought back. Those had been some of the best times of his life right there. He turned to retrieve another one, and felt his body freeze the moment he laid eyes on the picture lying at the bottom of the box.

The one picture that he had never wanted to see again.

Despite his rigid body and reeling mind, Naruto tenderly took out the picture frame, dusting it off with his sleeve ever so gently, as though the glass would break if he rubbed too hard.

It was a picture of Naruto and Sasuke at senior prom.

In the picture, Naruto wore a white tuxedo with his signature orange tie, and Sasuke was dressed in similar attire, with the tuxedo being black instead of white and his tie was midnight blue. They were just a month away from graduating.

Sasuke looked bored, his eyes glaring at the camera as if silently ordering the photographer to just get on with it and leave him alone. In contrast, Naruto had the biggest smile on his face, and his arm was slung around Sasuke's shoulders, holding the raven close to him.

That was the last picture he ever took with Sasuke.

Naruto stared into the dark, mesmerizing eyes; forever frozen in time, staring at him endlessly but seeing nothing.

He didn't know what to feel.

Nostalgic? Sure.

Sad? Of course.

Empty? Always.

At least, since the day he lost Sasuke and his whole life was blown to Hell.

The worst part was that he still remembered the events like they happened yesterday.

* * *

" _Home run!"_

 _Naruto raced past second base, chest heaving from heavy breaths and adrenaline as he sped past third base, headed home. He knew that the hit had guaranteed him a home run, so he technically could take all the time he wanted, but he was determined to feel the rush of adrenaline pumping through his veins, hear his team and the spectators screaming his name. Naruto laughed the whole way home, getting high on the feeling._

 _He stomped on the home base, and his team immediately swarmed him in a wild group hug, chanting his name and shouting victoriously. Naruto whooped heartily as his friends all mussed his hair and patted his back, some crushing the living daylights out of him. His brother-in-arms and co-captain Kiba raised him up on his shoulders and paraded him around in a victory lap._

" _You the man, bro!" Kiba shouted over the deafening cheers. "Lookit that trophy, baby!"_

 _As if on cue, a giant four-foot tall gold-tone trophy was passed to Naruto over the heads of his teammates. The star player grabbed the trophy, and kissed it hard as his team whooped. Raising it above his head, he shouted, "Konoha's first championship victory, believe it!"_

 _The whole team erupted into louder cheers, and Naruto had to clutch onto the trophy with one hand while his other wrapped around Kiba's head since his friend was bouncing him so much. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see their coach being showered with a cooler of red Gatorade. Naruto grinned. He always thought that green tracksuit of Gai's could use a different shade of color._

 _This was the highlight of his high school years. Four years, and he had managed to bring Konoha Valley High's baseball from being a little-known school team into the regional champions. Not bad._

 _Unconsciously, he found himself scanning the audience for a familiar face that he already knew wouldn't be there. Naruto inwardly slapped himself. Of course Sasuke wouldn't be there. He had his own regionals to attend to back at Konoha Valley. He sighed, feeling a little dejected that his best friend couldn't be there to support him. Likewise, he couldn't be there for Sasuke, so it evened out. And it wasn't like he'd never see him again._

 _The celebration was still on when the team returned back to their school grounds. A large poster hung over the main school building, with "Congratulations K.V.B on Winning the Championships!" written on it in big red letters. From up on the balcony, Hinata, Sakura, Ino, and Tenten were screaming and waving. Naruto smiled and waved at his friends, before being assaulted by a barrage of fellow students and teachers, congratulating him and his team on their victory._

" _Well done, Naruto!" Neji called once they were in the bustling locker room, gently patting him on the back. "You've worked hard for this."_

 _Naruto laughed sheepishly and dusted himself off, suddenly conscious of how dirty he was compared to his friend, who still looked immaculate despite the sheen of sweat on his pale forehead and the rumples on his volleyball jersey._

" _Good job," a lazy drawl sounded from below him._

 _Naruto looked down, meeting Shikamaru's half-lidded eyes. The school's academic genius was laying on a bench, legs crossed and arms tucked under his head. Unlike the rest of his friend group, Shikamaru wasn't into physical sports, deeming them "too troublesome", so Naruto didn't exactly know what to think seeing him in the locker room of all places. But he was grateful for the support._

" _Thanks, Shika," he said, smiling brightly. "Honestly, I didn't see you there. What brings you here?"_

 _Shikamaru shrugged as a response, closing his eyes and dozing off. Naruto laughed at his friend's ability to fall asleep anywhere in the matter of seconds. Though, a six-inch wide bench was a new addition to the places where he found Shikamaru sleeping._

" _You must be tired," Neji said, pulling his shirt off over his head, revealing a smooth expanse of unblemished, creamy skin and a lean build. Naruto averted his gaze, not wanting to be caught staring at his friend as he stripped. "I'll bet you had the time of your life."_

" _Yeah, I guess I did. I'm gonna clean up now, then we can celebrate properly."_

 _Neji smiled softly as he undid his ponytail. "Ramen, then? My treat."_

 _Naruto almost jumped the man in his excitement. Almost. Neji would murder him if he got one speck of dirt onto his white and red uniform…or any of his clothes at all._

" _Hell yeah! You're the best, Neji!" He hurried to strip off his dirty uniform, eager to jump into the shower and clean up so he could have his ramen as soon as possible. He grabbed a clean towel and his bathing supplies and walked into an empty stall._

 _Just as he began lathering up his hair, the doors to the locker room creaked open, and an unmistakable voice greeted some of the occupants within. "Hyuuga. Inuzuka. Nara…wait, what the hell are you doing in here?"_

 _Naruto trembled as a pleasant shiver shot up his spine. That voice, so smooth and dark was enough to arouse him. He turned, making his front face the wall in a pointless effort to hide his flushed face. Damn those stall doors for only coming up to his shoulders._

 _His heart almost burst out of his chest as Sasuke sauntered into the stall next to him, smelling of chlorine, his wet midnight blue hair plastered on the sides of his face._

" _I heard about the news," Sasuke said nonchalantly, closing his stall door and turning on his shower. "Congratulations."_

 _Naruto fought down his growing blush, opting to wash his face to cover it. "Thanks," he mumbled through the suds. When no other words were spoken, Naruto peeked out from behind his fingers, seeing Sasuke beginning to soap up his own hair._

" _Hey, Sasuke," he said, trying to make casual conversation despite feeling his blood travel down lower than it needed to._

" _What?"_

" _Neji's taking us out to dinner later. Wanna join?"_

" _No, thanks."_

 _Naruto pouted, the arousal being drained from his system at the rejection. "Come on! It's at Ichiraku's!"_

" _I don't like ramen."_

" _Please?" Naruto begged, pulling out his most adorable puppy eyes. "It's to celebrate the win. Please, Sasuke? For your best friend?"_

 _Sasuke groaned and turned away irritably. "Fine. Now leave me alone."_

 _Naruto stuck his tongue out childishly and resumed showering. He finished, dried himself off, wrapped the towel around his waist, and returned to the lockers to change. He hastily pulled on his clothes and sat down on a bench, pulling out a textbook to finish his calculus homework while waiting for Sasuke to finish._

 _He was so engrossed in his work that he didn't even realize Sasuke was done and dressed until a hand roughly mussed his hair. "Hey, are we going or not?"_

 _Naruto snapped out of his calculus-induced daze, and glared up, meeting the endless black orbs staring down at him. "Yeah, yeah, bastard. Gimme a second."_

" _You're the one who was begging me, dumbass."_

" _Quit calling me that!" Naruto scowled, shoving his books into his backpack and swinging it over his shoulder._

 _Sasuke smirked, mirth lighting his eyes. The happy expression warmed Naruto to the core, and he felt his anger at being called a dumbass wane. He could never stay angry at Sasuke. "Okay, let's go."_

 _Sasuke hummed as they exited the locker room, heading out to the parking lot to meet Neji. Naruto lagged a few steps behind his best friend, watching his long, graceful strides, the way the wind rustled his still-damp hair and open windbreaker. The setting sun cast shadows over him, but also made his pristine white skin glow._

 _It was then when the realization hit Naruto full-force._

 _'I love him.'_

* * *

Naruto opened his eyes, blinking the tears away. He didn't even remember closing his eyes as his mind wandered back all those years. The room was dark, the sun already having set, but he made no move to turn on the lights. Instead, he stared at the picture again, thinking back to the last conversation he ever had with Sasuke.

" _Hey, idiot."_

 _"Hm?" Naruto hummed, not looking up from his sketchbook._

 _"You figured out what you're gonna do with your life yet?" Sasuke drawled out from where he laid on Naruto's bed, watching the blonde draw over his shoulder. "We're graduating in a month."_

 _"I want to be a fashion designer," Naruto replied, setting down his pencil and beginning to color in the picture with markers, watching the bright, vibrant colors fill in the once-white outline of several outfits._

 _"Based on what you wear I doubt the industry's gonna see much," Sasuke said, his infamous smirk in place._

 _Naruto turned to glare at the boy behind him. "Bastard," he hissed. "I'll have you know that my designs are to die for. Even a prick like you can learn a thing or two about fashion from these babies."_

 _"I'm living for the day."_

 _"Asshole."_

 _"Dumbass."_

 _"Arrogant bastard."_

 _"Demented idiot."_

 _Naruto puffed out his cheeks and turned his head away. "I'm not talking to you anymore."_

 _It was almost possible to hear the smirk in Sasuke's voice. "Finally."_

 _Naruto huffed and turned around, focusing once again on his designs. It was for a male—a long navy blue scarf draped over a black leather jacket, underneath which was a pale blue turtleneck. Black ripped jeans with chains on the sides, and dark suede shoes. He had no intention to say that it was for Sasuke, or that it was what he had made for the raven for his birthday._

* * *

Naruto regretted not telling Sasuke he loved him that day. He stared down at the box—at the contents cushioning the delicate picture frames. A navy-blue cashmere scarf rested at the bottom, the material still soft despite being made seven years prior. Naruto picked up the scarf, feeling the fabric with his fingers, before slowly wrapping it around his neck. The rest of the outfit were long gone, given away to others, but somehow, Naruto found it excruciatingly hard to part with the scarf. He had picked out the yarn himself, and spent every night knitting it his senior year as a gift for Sasuke.

It had been such a good time.

Everything was fine.

That is, until _that_ night.

* * *

 _"Hey Neji," Naruto called, waving at his friend as he jogged across the hall. "Have you seen Sasuke?"_

 _Neji's eyebrows arched slightly. "No, I haven't, actually."_

 _Naruto pouted. "The bastard was supposed to meet me for lunch."_

 _"Sorry, Naruto, but I really haven't seen him all day. Not in AP Calculus, not in AP Literature, either."_

 _"It's okay," Naruto sighed, feeling disappointed. The rest of the day, he kept asking people. Sakura hadn't seen him in AP Physics. Shikamaru didn't see him in AP Psychology. Suigetsu didn't see him at swim practice._

 _"Which is weird," he said, rubbing his wet white hair with a towel, flicking some chlorinated water onto Naruto. "Usually the captain's the first one here. Maybe he's sick or something? He was lagging a little throughout practice last week before the competition."_

 _"Oh, okay then, thanks," Naruto said, before walking out of the pool building. For the first time in twelve years, he walked home alone._

 _Days passed, and still no Sasuke. Naruto tried to convince himself that maybe like Suigetsu said, Sasuke caught a flu or something and needed to stay home to rest. For that reason, he didn't bother calling the Uchiha residence to check on his friend, in case he was disturbing him. Knowing Sasuke, it wouldn't be the first time he was ill, either. Naruto shuddered, remembering all those days where he had seen Sasuke lying in bed, burning with fever and turning to vomit into a bowl every few hours._

 _"No need to panic," he whispered to himself. "Sasuke's probably hurling his guts out at home. No big deal."_

 _Three days passed. Still no Sasuke._

 _Naruto was starting to get worried. Sasuke had never been absent for so long. He walked idly down the hallway, staring at Sasuke's locker as he went to his own._

 _"Naruto?"_

 _Naruto turned, greeting the pale-eyed girl. "Hi, Hinata."_

 _The gentle girl's smile faded as she looked at him. "Are you okay? You seem pale."_

 _Naruto shook his head aimlessly. "It's just…Sasuke hasn't shown up lately. I was…getting really worried." He felt so tired and drained, like the life was being sucked from his soul. Sasuke was like his other half. He didn't feel complete without him._

 _Hinata's smile returned as she gently patted his hand. "No need to be upset, Naruto. I spoke with Itachi yesterday. He said that Sasuke went to their second house to rest."_

 _"You spoke with Itachi?" Naruto asked, straightening up as his interest piqued. "Why is Sasuke there? Why isn't he here?"_

 _Hinata shook her head. "I honestly don't know. Itachi said that his brother wanted some alone time. I think he's just stressed about the upcoming finals and graduation, you know? He should be back soon."_

 _Naruto grinned, feeling relief flood his senses at the news. "Thanks a lot, Hinata. You really saved me a lot of trouble there."_

 _"No problem. Just take care of yourself, okay?" She walked off, and Naruto felt the happiest he had in days, knowing his friend was safe. All he had to do now was wait for Sasuke._

 _And he waited._

 _For two weeks._

 _Sasuke never came back._

 _By that point, Naruto was beyond panicked. The moment school let out, he pulled out his phone and dialed Sasuke's number._

 _Briiinnng. Briiinnng. Briiinnng…_

 _"This is Sasuke. Leave me a message."_

 _Naruto groaned as he went to voicemail, though it felt good to hear his friend's voice, even if it was automated. He tried again, this time calling the Uchiha residence. Surely somebody in that big-ass house would answer._

 _After two rings, somebody picked up the phone._

 _"Uchiha residence, Mari speaking."_

 _Naruto eased his erratic breathing upon hearing the maid's familiar voice. "Hi Mari, it's Naruto."_

 _The maid's voice lightened immediately. "Oh, hello, Naruto. What is the occasion for your call?"_

 _Naruto fiddled with the drawstrings of his hoodie anxiously. "Well, I was wondering, can I speak with Sasuke? Is he there?"_

 _Somewhere in the background, he heard glass shatter and someone curse. "Uh…is everything alright?"_

 _"Everything's fine," Mari said quickly before he heard her taking a deep breath. "I understand your concern, Naruto," the maid's gentle voice was once again calm. "But I'm afraid that's impossible at the moment."_

 _Naruto felt frustration and worry clench his gut. "Why's that?" he said, a little harsher than he intended._

 _A barely audible sigh was heard over the line. Mari cleared her throat, but her voice was still strained. "You see, Naruto…young master Sasuke…he is no longer…"_

 _"What? No longer what? No longer attending school? I thought that became obvious when he hasn't shown up in over two fucking weeks!" Naruto almost shouted, losing his composure in his worry._

 _Mari's voice still kept its soft, gentle tone as she spoke. "Please, calm down, Naruto. I mean you no disrespect. I understand why you're upset. But master Sasuke—"_

 _"Where is Sasuke?" Naruto demanded. He was starting to get a bad feeling about this. "Please, Mari, tell me. Hinata told me that Itachi told her that Sasuke was at his second house. Is he still there? Please, I need to talk to him."_

 _"Naruto…" there was a pregnant pause before the maid spoke again. "Master Itachi is right about what he said, but master Sasuke passed away two nights ago. The police have transferred him to the Konoha Police Department Morgue to do inspections. I'm really sor—"_

 _Naruto snapped his phone closed as his mind began to whirl. What Mari said…_

 _No._

 _This couldn't be it._

 _Sasuke can't be dead._

 _He can't._

 _Without even thinking, he turned and sprinted towards the other side of the city—towards the Konoha Police Department._

 _"Please," he said into the wind as tears blurred his vision. "Please, let it be a lie."_

* * *

It hadn't been a lie.

Naruto sighed sadly as he slid to the floor, cradling his last picture with Sasuke in his arms. His mind wandered back into the past, into all the pain that he tried to ignore for the last seven years. The wound never healed, never even scabbed over. This whole time, it was there—open and bleeding—hidden underneath a bandage of happiness.

But he tried. He tried to be as happy as he can be. He owed his loved ones that much.

Naruto felt his eyes burn with unshed tears as he continued to stare at the picture.

He never even got to say goodbye.

A shuddering breath echoed throughout the empty room, and Naruto gently set the picture aside. A peek over at his calendar told him that his weekly visit was soon due. Pushing himself up, Naruto gently unraveled the scarf around his neck and carefully wrapped the picture with it.

He swore that he was over it.

Sasuke was gone.

It was reality, and Naruto need to keep being a big boy and just continue to move on. The past it past. There is no going back to it.

* * *

 **Yeeeee...the angst, oh, the angst. Hope you all enjoy this story so far! Btw, the song I quoted at the top is Jordin Spark's "No Air".**


	3. Phone Call

Two weeks in his new house, and Naruto found it fully furnished with the best furniture money can buy and undergoing extreme Gaara-esque makeovers.

He didn't know how they did it, but Neji and Gaara had managed to turn his empty, plain, classic mansion into a complete warm-toned wonderland. Gaara went out of his way to make the house fit his vision, while still considering Naruto's likes and dislikes.

The kitchen, once just a simple but large space with white tile floors, walls, and cabinets, now sported red marble countertops flecked with gold, a cherry hardwood floor, and oak cabinets with intricately carved brass handles. The two LED ceiling lights were exchanged for six scarlet hanging lamps, each giving off a gentle light that put together, illuminated the kitchen just as well, but with a much warmer and softer feel. The dishwasher, oven, stove, and refrigerator were all upgraded to the latest models.

His cabinets were filled with expensive china, his stainless-steel cutlery replaced with beautiful contemporary gold-toned cutlery. His drapes were of the finest silk, his plain white walls painted over with intricate golden leaf designs, and his carpets redone into a soft cream tone that felt like walking on Heaven. Even the chandelier hanging over the dining room and entryway were replaced with Swarovski crystal chandeliers that were twice as big and a whole new level of GRAND.

Naruto's personal bedroom was the epitome of bright and energetic. His walls were tastefully lined with orange, his king-sized bed decked with white and orange Egyptian cotton sheets and throw pillows. His large white dressers had gold and red flames curling around the edges and corners. Sheer orange and white curtains hung above his many windows.

The walls were adorned with his pictures and stupid motivational quotes that had made Gaara cringe so hard Naruto thought the man was going to have a seizure. The only reason why he managed to keep those and not have Gaara disembowel him was because Gaara had a weakness for his puppy-dog eyes.

"Wow…Gaara…wow…" Naruto mumbled incoherently as he gazed around his new multi-million-dollar mansion makeover. He checked every appliance, ogled every corner and inch of all thirty rooms, and even went to run outside in his newly cleaned and trimmed backyard.

"Do you like it?" Gaara asked, voice emotionless but eyes glimmering with satisfaction.

Naruto grinned and glomped him in a bone-crushing hug.

"I love it! It's like, everything I could've imagined, and then some!"

"Glad you like it," Gaara strained out. _My job here is done_.

"I guess he does have a point with this renovation, Naruto," Neji said calmly, sipping his tea. "You made your first million last year and now you're well on your way to making more. You deserve to live the life you earned."

Naruto grinned and nodded vigorously. "You're a miracle worker, Gaara! Man, if I could just—"

His pocket buzzed, and Naruto paused to fish out his phone. He checked the caller ID and felt the buzzing energy inside him diminish a little.

"Sorry, excuse me for a sec. I'll be right back," he said, leaving the room and heading down the hall, phone still vibrating in his hands. When he was sure he was out of earshot from his many roommates, Naruto flipped open the phone and held it against his ear.

"Hello?"

 _"Hello, Naruto, it's me,"_ the rich baritone voice over the line said softly.

Naruto held back a snicker. "Yes, I got that much from the caller ID."

An amused hum reverberated through the line. _"Hm. I heard you moved into a new house. Congratulations."_

"Thank you," Naruto said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "Gaara just remodeled it so the past week has been a little hellish."

A sigh was heard. _"Let me guess, Sabaku tore the floor out and replaced everything but the plumbing, didn't he?"_

Naruto let out a hearty laugh. "Yeah, pretty much. Gaara made me and everyone else sleep in the lounge, 'cause everywhere else was torn up and a walking hazard." He grinned as he recalled some hilariously unfortunate events that befell him during the construction period. "I swear, I almost stepped on a nail seven times already. And there was this one point where the ceiling almost collapsed on Shikamaru when he was taking a nap…wait, I digress. What I meant to say is that you gotta come over and see the house! It's beautiful! I just got a sick new coffee table, and—"

 _"I take it that your furniture was courtesy of Hyuuga?"_ the voice interrupted.

"Yup! The best of the best!" Naruto exclaimed brightly, eyeing his new workroom with pride. "You just gotta come over and check it out!"

 _"I'll come over as soon as the ER stops admitting trauma patients,"_ the voice replied, humor lightening its noticeably tired tone. In the background, Naruto could hear papers rustling and fingers tapping on a keyboard. The poor soul was still buried in work.

"Of course, you're busy," Naruto said sympathetically, sitting down in his new leather armchair. "You deserve some time to rest. But I do expect a visit from you soon, doctor."

A soft chuckle rang over the line. _"Not in my office, I hope not."_

Naruto laughed. "Right. Goodbye, Itachi."

 _"See you later, Naruto."_

Naruto glanced at his closed phone, smiling softly to himself. Itachi always made good company…when he could make company. The man was constantly neck-deep in work, and usually couldn't even spare enough time to have a phone conversation for longer than five minutes.

Being a trauma surgeon must be hard. Poor Itachi sounded so drained.

But then again, Naruto was too.

He sighed, remembering that he must catch up with his work tomorrow at the studio if he ever wanted to qualify to showcase at Tokyo. The deadline was in two months, and he still had half a collection to design, sew, and fit. Fun time was over.

"Who was it, Naruto?" Neji asked the moment Naruto stepped foot into the room again. "Are you behind on something from work?"

From where he leaned against the table, Shikamaru snorted and sipped his coffee lazily. "He's always behind on something."

"Am not! And you're one to talk, Shika!" Naruto retorted loudly, giving Shikamaru a good-natured noogie. "A friend called. I just went to speak with him for a while."

Gaara's eyes narrowed in both suspicion and concern. He knew when Naruto was hiding something. He'd known that for nineteen years now.

"And who was this _friend_ that you so _urgently_ had to speak with?" he asked, voice completely emotionless but hiding a savage undertone.

Naruto's grin faltered a little. "Honestly, Gaara, he's just a family friend." Gaara narrowed his eyes further at the defensive tone in the blonde's voice. Even Sai, who had sat silently in the adjacent dining room, turned to stare at Naruto with something resembling worry etched across his features. Naruto was most definitely hiding something now, and Gaara knew it. But who was he to pry, after he ripped apart Naruto's house for his own pleasure?

Besides, Gaara already had a good mind on who it was.

"Alright then," he said, turning to pull some plates out of the cabinet. "I'll start dinner, I guess."

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief at the redhead's choice to not interrogate him, and grabbed a spatula. "I'll help!"

"Don't you dare," the three other men in the room grumbled in unison.

Naruto threw up his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay. Jeez, a little faith would be nice every once in a while."

"Sorry, but I think we've depleted our faith supply years ago," Sai said nonchalantly as he made his way into the kitchen. "The last time you went near a cooking utensil, you nearly cut your dick off."

Naruto scowled and threw the spatula at the pale artist, who skillfully blocked it with a cutting board.

"Your aim is as misshapen as your mentality," Sai teased, a plastic smile stretched across his face. "Maybe you should get your eyes AND your head checked every once in a while. It'll do you some good."

Naruto wondered why he ever befriended and invited this jerk to come live with him in the first place. It might just be easier to murder him and then hide the body.

* * *

It was past midnight when his phone went off again. Naruto rolled to his side and groggily reached for his phone, which laid charging atop his new white-and-orange nightstand. His fingers brushed over the buzzing device, and he pulled out the charger before bringing the phone next to his ear.

"Hello?" he murmured sleepily, glancing at the clock. It was almost 1 in the morning. He wasn't even asleep for two hours yet.

 _"Hello, Naruto. I'm sorry about waking you up so late,"_ Itachi's tired voice said over the line.

Naruto sat up and rubbed his eyes. "No, not really. I just went to bed. What's up, Itachi?"

 _"Do you have time this afternoon? I would like to meet with you for coffee. I found some rather…interesting information that I think you of all people deserve to know."_

Naruto's interest was piqued. If Itachi of all people was calling him in the middle of the night, requesting they meet for something important, then it was DAMN important, because if there was one thing Itachi Uchiha was known for, it was not messing around. The man always said what he meant and nothing less.

"Sure. Time and place?"

 _"Choji's at three. I always found his coffee and sweets delightful, wouldn't you say?"_

Naruto grinned at the thought of his friend's café. Choji Akimichi was a culinary magician. With his skill, he could open up a very successful restaurant, but the man was too humble and preferred a homey café instead. "Of course, Itachi."

 _"It brings me back to when you were all young and naïve,"_ the Uchiha chuckled. _"Well, goodnight, Naruto."_

"Goodnight."

He set his phone down and closed his eyes. Sleep was quick to come, and time seemed to reverse.

* * *

 _That night rained something fierce._

 _Naruto stumbled home, drenched and muddy, but he didn't care. He just wanted to be alone._

 _He just wanted to die._

" _Naruto?" Jiraiya greeted when he opened the door. "Kid, you shouldn't be walking out in the rain. You'll catch your death by cold!"_

 _Naruto lifted his eyes to meet his uncle's eyes lifelessly. He brushed past the man, heading for his room and leaving a wet trail down the hallway._

" _Naruto? Are you okay? Your face is bleeding."_

 _He ignored the worried call, stepping into his room and locking the door behind him. His room was a mess, but Naruto had no trouble finding the object of his desires. He stripped off his soaked hoodie and sat down on his bed, grasping the boxcutter in his hand._

 _His room was plastered with sketches, taped all over the walls. The floor had clothes and books strewn all over it. In the corner was his gym bag and baseball gear. Right before him hung pictures of himself and Sasuke._

 _Sasuke…_

 _Naruto didn't think at all when he acted. The blade dug into his flesh and carved a straight, smooth line down the length of his wrist. Blood poured out of the wound like red rivers, but he felt nothing._

" _Naruto?" a muffled voice called from past the door. "Open up!"_

 _He ignored Tsunade's demands and pounding on the door, continuing to carve into himself with the knife. Once he could find no more space on his left arm, he switched the blade to his right._

 _The bedsheets were turning a brilliant shade of crimson. Naruto laid in the center of it, still in his wet clothes, still unfeeling. Black was starting to edge his vision._

" _Sasuke…" he whispered. "I miss you…"_

 _The door to his room burst open, practically flying off its hinges, and Tsunade charged in. "Naruto, how many times do I have to—OH MY GOD!"_

 _His aunt's scream was a distant echo, her cries for his uncle to call an ambulance were muddled and faint._

" _Naruto? Naruto, can you hear me?" Tsunade shouted, shaking his shoulders. Naruto barely nodded his head, staring at the woman's blurry, tear-stained face._

" _You're going to be alright, baby," she sobbed, sitting him up and cradling him to her chest as the pool of red around him grew wider. "You're going to be alright."_

 _It sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than anything._

* * *

The figure closed the door, turning away from the sight of the sleeping blonde. He couldn't stand watching him cry in his sleep. It only broke his heart.

The whole mansion was asleep, but he didn't need it. All he needed was to see Naruto again.


	4. Lost Years

It was only when he was absolutely, positively, one hundred and twenty percent sure that Gaara was asleep did Neji pull out his old high school yearbook.

A million times Gaara had told him not to do this—not to delve into the past and relive it again, to just let the past stay in the past and not defy the laws of time—and a million times Neji had defied him, either openly or behind his back. He loved Gaara with all his heart, and wanted to respect every last one of his wishes, but some things Gaara just didn't understand.

Neji was not a forgiving person. He held grudges. He beat himself up for his mistakes. Hell, up until the point when he met Naruto in his high school freshman year, Neji was just about the most cynical, cold-hearted bastard alive on the planet.

However, his reason to look back into his past was not so much out of anger or resentment as it was of sorrow and guilt. Some things he just couldn't let go.

Neji scooted discreetly off towards the edge of their shared bed, and reached in his nightstand for his mini flashlight. Flicking it on, he brought it up over the large book he held in his hand. The red gloss cover of the Konoha High yearbook was remarkably pristine, its pages white and uncreased, seemingly untouched. Neji tucked the flashlight behind his ear and flipped open the book gently, as if caressing a newborn baby.

Pictures from seven years ago filled his vision. Candid shots from school activities and dances, student quotes, nothing that he wanted to see. Neji flipped some more pages, stopping when he reached the Seniors section.

Everyone in the graduating senior class was dressed in the same attire—a black scoop neck dress for the girls, and a classic black tuxedo for the boys. Neji could see himself in one of the portraits, looking back with the same pale lavender eyes and serious expression. He saw Gaara's, with the blood-red hair and thick eyeliner; his skin was slightly tanner than it was now, due to him having recently moved from the desert town of Suna back then. Naruto's was a few pages after, with his broad, contagious smile and wild blonde hair just as untamed as ever.

None of whom Neji was looking for.

His eyes drifted onto a familiar face, one that seemed lost to him long ago.

Sasuke Uchiha did not look amused. His ebony eyes were glaring at the camera, his features schooled into a cool, uncaring expression. The tuxedo suited him quite well, complementing his pale skin and dark hair. Neji remembered how that expression would change around Naruto, how those creased brows would ease ever so slightly, that scowl shift slowly into a smirk, that hard, steely gaze soften.

His eyes may make him appear blind, but Neji saw everything.

He knew.

* * *

 _"Neji?"_

 _Hinata stood in his doorway, wearing a simple black dress that fell all the way to the floor. Her long hair was pinned up, and she held a bouquet of lilies in her hands._

 _Neji finished tying his tie, and nodded at his cousin. "Let's go."_

 _The wake was solemn, and there wasn't much people. Close friends and family members gathered in a tight group at the cemetery, mourning the loss. The grass was green, the air was crisp, and yet, everything seemed lifeless. People milled about in black, some crying, some trying not to cry. Neji glanced around, hoping to see a familiar shock of blonde hair or a ray of sunshine._

 _All he saw were grey and black. There was no sunshine that day._

 _Sasuke's parents were in the front of the group. Mikoto Uchiha was wrapped in her husband's arms, sobbing before her youngest son's casket._

 _"Baby," she sobbed. "My baby…"_

 _Sasuke's older brother, Itachi, stood off to the side. He shed no tears, but the man's head was hung low, his hand never leaving the rim of the casket as he stared down at his little brother's face._

 _Neji walked up to the open casket, letting his hand glide along the smooth, polished wood. He looked down at his friend's face. Sasuke was decked in a black suit, his hands laced across his chest. His face lacked the condescending sneer and the calculating glare he sported so often in life. He looked so peaceful, almost like he was just sleeping._

 _"He loves you," Neji whispered to the corpse. "Naruto loves you."_

* * *

And then, just like that, it was all gone.

It was a sad end, but the sadness wasn't his to bear. Neji closed the yearbook, aware of how late it has gotten. He still had work tomorrow. Sighing, he tucked the book back in the drawer of his nightstand and clicked off his flashlight.

"Goodnight," he whispered to nobody in particular.

* * *

The drive to the cemetery had been short, not even ten minutes.

Naruto stepped out of the car, clutching a bouquet in his hands. He hadn't worn gloves to protect them against the cold, but then again, he never did. The cold morning air bit at his cheeks and numbed his fingers. The sun was shining, but failed to warm up the day.

He wandered about the tombstones, trusting his body to take him to the correct one. A dark, rounded one caught his eye, and he instinctively approached it, crouching down and placing the flowers next to the smooth ebony, and brushing the dead flowers aside to be cleaned up later.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a handkerchief and gently wiped the stone clean. Tucking the handkerchief away, Naruto placed a hand on the stone and closed his eyes.

It was a routine that he had followed for seven years.

He never showed up to Sasuke's funeral, too scared that he would completely fall apart if he saw his best friend and love of his life lying in a casket, ready to be buried six feet into the dirt for all eternity. But despite that, he visited the grave every week. He couldn't bear to fail Sasuke again.

Naruto sighed, opening his eyes and checking his watch.

"You know, Sasuke," he whispered as he leaned back to run his fingers over the engravings on the stone, seeing nothing but his own reflection in its polished surface. "My house is completely refurbished. Everything's the way I want it, but you would've hated it." He chuckled humorlessly as he stood up. "I wish you were alive to see it."

* * *

Itachi Uchiha was a patient man. He had to be, since dealing with trauma patients took a lot of effort and time. Sitting alone at a table in the café waiting for Naruto to arrive was nothing. Even if the blonde was half an hour late, Itachi was sure there was a good reason behind it. Naruto wasn't one to back out of something for whimsy reasons.

He was about to order another cup of coffee when the door of the café opened with a jingle, and a familiar blonde man strode in, bundled in a long orange coat. He caught Itachi's gaze, and immediately went over to him, plopping down onto the chair across from the raven.

"Sorry I'm late, Itachi," Naruto apologized, unbuttoning his coat. "I was just…visiting Sasuke…" his voice trailed off as he draped the coat over the chair. The light in his eyes noticeably faded.

"It's perfectly alright, Naruto," Itachi said, beckoning a waiter over. "I understand. Would you like something to drink?"

"Hot chocolate, please."

"And another cup of coffee for me, please," Itachi said to the waiter, who nodded and went to fetch their drinks.

"So Itachi, what'd you want to tell me?" Naruto asked quietly, looking out at the window.

If Itachi was a lesser man, he would've sighed at Naruto's lingering avoidance of the subject. But as an Uchiha, the most he managed was a gentle exhale. "Are you alright, Naruto?"

Naruto's head immediately snapped forward, and a big smile stretched across his face. "I'm fine, Itachi," he said, waving his hands animatedly. "Sorry, I just zoned out for a moment there."

That was a damn lie, and Itachi knew that. It didn't take a genius to figure out that something was bothering Naruto, but talking to him about it would be risky. He didn't need Naruto shutting down completely and become depressed again. It was almost a relief to see the blonde's eyes lighten up the slightest bit when their drinks were set down before them. Naruto immediately made for the chocolate, obviously happy at the distraction.

Itachi set his coffee to the side. There was no beating around the bush; it was best to be straightforward with this. "You know how the cause of my brother's death was never established?"

Naruto visibly flinched. His eyes once again glazed over, and he nodded his head mechanically. "I know."

"It was strange," Itachi said softly, feeling a little sad himself. "He was so excited about graduating, going to law school, and becoming a lawyer. Then one day, he told me he wanted to go to our second home, out in the suburbs. He never told me why."

Naruto only nodded numbly, eyes downcast and hazy.

"He was persistent about it, so I assumed that he was feeling stressed and a small getaway would do him some good," Itachi continued, eyes ever leaving Naruto. "I only wanted the best for him, but it appears that I was mistaken."

"Don't blame yourself…" Naruto said so softly it was one step above a whisper. He had wrapped his arms around his torso, drawing closer into himself and clamming up. Itachi knew what that meant. He needed to get down to business fast if Naruto was ever going to listen to him.

"I found this when I went to organize his room yesterday," Itachi said, pulling a faded blue notebook from his messenger bag and sliding it across the table to Naruto. Naruto took it tentatively, turning it over and feeling the faux leather cover over the pristine white pages. He frowned and looked at Itachi with confusion.

"Sasuke's journal," Itachi explained, gesturing to the book. "I got it for him as a birthday gift when he graduated middle school. Since then, I saw him writing in it every day since high school. When he passed, I…" he paused, taking a sip of coffee to disguise the sad sigh that threatened to escape his lips. "…I couldn't bring myself to part with what might as well have been little bits of my baby brother. But, I suppose it's more useful to you than it would be to me."

Naruto's eyes widened comically and he set the journal down. "Itachi, I-I couldn't possibly! He was your brother, and you need—"

Itachi raised a slender hand, effectively silencing the rambling blonde. "I have other things to remember Sasuke by. I've made my peace with him, but something tells me that you haven't quite yet."

Naruto averted his gaze shamefully, his cheeks tinted pink from embarrassment. Itachi fought down the conflicting urges to slap the boy and tell him to grow a pair and move on from the past and to hug the shit out of him and tell him that everything is going to be okay.

"I'm giving you this for two reasons, Naruto," he said, lifting two fingers. "One is to give you peace of mind. The second is so that you can maybe understand Sasuke's world a little more. You may think you knew everything about him, but there is a whole universe inside him that neither you nor I have ventured into."

He finished his coffee and stood up, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "I wish you the best, Naruto. Apologies, but I must get to the ER now. Take care." He made his way to the exit, sharp obsidian eyes never leaving the blonde sitting alone at the table with his brother's heart in his hands.


End file.
